Minnesota Lawyer Blog

Stallions can drink water from a creek without a ripple;
The lawyers in this case must have a bottle with a nipple.

Babies learn to walk by scooting and falling;
These lawyers practice law by simply mauling

Each other and the judge, but this must end soon
(Maybe facing off with six shooters at noon?)

Surely lawyers who practice in federal court can take
A deposition without a judge's order, for goodness sake.

First, the arguments about taking the deposition at all,
And now this -- establishing their experience to be small.

So, let me tell you both and be abundantly clear:
If you can't work this without me, I will be near.

There will be a hearing with pablum to eat
And a very cool cell where you can meet.

AND WORK OUT YOUR INFANTILE PROBLEM WITH THE DEPOSITION.

In keeping with the spirit of the occasion, I offer the following response, also in verse:

Blogs are important for spreading the news
That otherwise would be forgotten while lawyers snooze
Or even read statutes, cases, and rules.

We all know discovery’s no walk in the park
But fighting about depositions shouldn’t be done on a lark,
Or else you can end up in Dutch with Samuel Spark

Or some other judge, Minnesota’s got a few
Who can turn a phrase with the best of them. Two
Or more come to mind, but I won’t be a blogger who

Names names. At any rate, lawyers should take heed
When picking their fights, and make sure that they really need
To quarrel and bill for their time, I could write a screed

About it but I won’t because Judge Sparks can’t be beat
For a concise and metric scolding, a neat
Way to bring these attorneys into line—I repeat

We all know discovery’s no walk in the park
But fighting about depositions shouldn’t be done on a lark,
Or else you can end up in Dutch with Samuel Spark.