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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Police reports add quaint flavor to big-city news

My favorite thing about small-town newspapers is the police report, the weekly round-up of thefts, loud parties and animal rescues that spice up rural life. At their best, these sections of the paper are like a local version of News of the Weird.

The Star Tribune recently began running a weekly cross-section of area police reports, and it’s as entertaining as one might imagine. Consider these gems from Wednesday’s log:

* A Spring Lake Park High School student streaked an athletic event at rival Blaine High School. This was no spontaneous act, either – the perp had a getaway car (containing his clothes) waiting for him at the end of his streak. But he was caught anyway, and banned from attending any Blaine events for three years.

* An auto dealer in Columbus, Minn., reported that someone stole a car from his lot. Although the car had a dead battery, the resourceful thief stole a good battery from another car on the lot, installed it in the car he wanted, and drove away.

* In Maplewood, a homeowner filed a property damage complaint when someone affixed an adhesive flier to his front-door window. The homeowner was unable to remove the flyer’s glue from his window, so he called police.

* In Stillwater, a man advised police that he was planning on talking to a neighbor whose cats had been urinating on his property. The report didn’t mention how that conversation turned out.

Of course, there are plenty of much more serious crimes reported all the time in our fair cities. But reading about some of these oddball goings-on can be a refreshing break from the "real" legal news.


Anonymous said...

Why no link to the police reports at the Star Tribune website?

Dan Heilman, staff writer said...

Hi S. Glover -

As far as I can determine, this section isn't on the Star Tribune's site.